I Love My Life

I love my life, not because of my accomplishments,
(there have been some)
but for my failures.
(those are what shaped me)
I love my life not because it has been easy.
In fact, it has been very hard much of the time.
(Yet I have persevered, survived, prevailed, triumphed).

I love my life because I know there are a few who love me,
and will no matter what.
(my husband and children do; and some friends, a few)
I don’t need to be remembered afterward
(as much as being loved during, and believe I am.)

None of my life has been remotely perfect,
But mostly broken, disappointed, hurt;
Yet something in my faith, and in me,
keeps getting resurrected. New life, new beginning.

I won’t mind so much when it’s over, I don’t think,
Because I’m so confident of what comes after.
I have always been and will ever be,
among the redeemed, the everlasting.
(or so it seems to me).

A Gift On My Desk

This morning there was a framed picture on my desk. It was a very thoughtful gift---a picture of me on the occasion of the first time preaching to this congregation. It was left anonymously, but I am sure I know who did it, because of the vantage point from which the picture was taken. It is oriented from a position near where the organist sits. I am sure she is the one. The organ, by the way, seems to have a couple of hundred pipes. The Senior Pastor is sitting to the right.

What you cannot see is that I am standing on a wooden platform which they provided, out of concern that I would not be seen above the top of the pulpit, due to my short stature. I was a little worried that in one of my excited hand waving moments I might fall off of the platform, which would have been very humiliating. But I managed to stay centered. Next time I do not think I will use it. I am sure they will still be able to see my head. That is all they really need to see.

The choir is overhead. They are really awesome. But I cannot see the choir at all. Too bad!

Hymnals

Today at work I discovered that the church I serve has the softbound hymnal, Sing the Faith. It is ninety five percent the same as the similar supplemental hymnal in my own denomination.

As I thumbed through the small familiar book, I felt a huge longing to play and sing those familiar hymns that I love. Since I'm not much of a singer, the longing seemed to be about playing them. Music, of course, touches us at some deep place within our souls.

As I played the hymns in my mind, there was definitely a congregation there singing them.

Honestly, I played out in my imagination a whole scene. It was a church of twenty five or so faithful saints, with me playing the hymns, Gerry doing the other parts of the service and me preaching. That somehow seemed like a very satisfying scene to imagine. Playful thinking, I might call it. Nothing more than that.

But who knows? Who knows? God knows. God knows.

Lunch With A Friend

I had lunch with a young friend today. We worked together several churches ago. She was a super duper cracker jack office manager and Christian Education person! I was so fortunate to have her while I was there! She was creative, ambitious, organized, committed, had a Master's Degree and was everything anyone would want in a staff person. We got along wonderfully. I'll just call her Leah, for anonymity.

Leah and I only had one issue where our values were at odds. She was and is a "green" person, big on re-cycling. I have only one big pet peeve and that is not having cardboard boxes laying around on the floor in the church. (they tend to multiply like rabbits!) Leah always had a big cardboard box in the office in order to re-cycle all the paper. You see, I simply did not want the first thing a person saw when they opened the door to the church office to be a big box. As I recall, we had a friendly re-negotiation of the re-cycling/cardboard box dilemma. In the end, we kept both, but her cardboard box was stored under her desk out of view.

We are still quite good friends to this day, keeping in touch, and having lunch from time to time. I am almost old enough to be her mother (if I had gotten an early start) so I think our friendship is special, despite the age difference. My daughter Yo used to babysit her children.

It was good to connect with Leah today and hear about her family and their hopes and plans for the future. And I do hope that things work out exactly as she envisions!