No Escaping the Past

    

My husband and I have very different backgrounds.  But I never cease to be amazed at how each of our backgrounds impacted our lives.   The influence of our childhoods, though vastly different,  affected each of us in quite similar ways. 

    Gerry has often talked about how hard life on the farm really was.  He had to go to work in the fields early, and had little childhood.  Toys were pretty much non-existent.  Prices were unpredictable.  Weather was unpredictable.  There were good years and bad years.  There was little money.  The physical labor was grueling, and so on and so on.

    I have often said that the life of a preacher's family is no picnic.  There are endless expectations of one's presence,  one's behavior,  one's appearance, and so forth.  Always on display.  The pastor's wife is expected to participate in all church functions, as are all family members.  The pastor's children are expected to be perfect little angels,  much better behaved than other children their age.   (They rarely are.)

    So naturally, knowing how hard it was, Gerry did not pursue being a farmer when he grew up.  His path led him to the College of Agriculture,  where he ended up studying agricultural engineering and being a professor  and creating farm machinery.  Although he never again lived on a farm, clearly his farm background shaped his character and his career,.   So you could say, in a unique way,  the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree."    In this case, the apple is literal, since he grew up on an apple farm.

     As an adult, I did continue to be an active church member, wherever I happened to be, which was a great variety of different places. So in that way, I stayed connected to my roots.   I had several careers, which included being a teacher and a college administrator.  But in the end,  the church participation turned into a deep commitment, which in time resulted in a strong sense of calling to the ministry  which could not be denied.

    I grew up in the Deep South and had disavowed early on that specific expression of Christianity, which was steeped in racism, and also, sexism, I might add.  I remember vividly a seminary professor saying:  "Every generation will interpret the gospel for their own time."    

    Somehow, that was liberating and I knew that I would have my own personal way of doing just that,  based on my experience,  my education,  my time, place and gender.  And although it is vastly different from my parents' experience,  I believe that I am still being faithful to God and the Gospel.   

    So the bottom line is--although I retired years ago from my full time ministry---I continue to preach because it is basically who I am, what I do.

    Even though Gerry retired even more years ago than I,  every trip in the car involves commenting on the fields and the crops.  Every project of interest involves agriculture in one way or another.   Most recently he has created a photographic record of all the defunct silos in our county and is working on a presentation for the Living History Museum.

      I am currently involved in three different churches.  One we attend and serve on committees.  At another I have been a part-time pulpit supply preacher for the past five years. Recently,  I have added another congregation once a month.

    So my conclusion from all of this is that one is likely to recreate some version of one's childhood and family influences,  or, in other cases,  go completely the opposite direction into some areas that have no resemblance at all to who one used to be.

    Whether one's path turns out to be repeating or avoiding  their early influences,  there is simply no escaping the past.

    

An Interesting Perspective or Two

         I live in a hilly college town in Upstate NY.  Whenever I take the back way to downtown,  I can see off in the distance hills and buildings and lovely scenery.   For some reason,  I noticed a particular scene and saw it in a new light.   I was struck by the symbolism of what was in my view.

       Atop the crest of the hill are dormitories.  Dormitories are where young adults arrive to learn and grow and become someone new and different.  

      The hill in the distance slopes downward from the crest, and the entire sloping hillside is a cemetery.   I could see a broad swath of headstones just below the dormitories.   It struck me as an interesting metaphor.   

    A new stage of life begins in the dormitories.   Lives that are finished rest on the hillside.( I tend to believe there is also something new and exciting that follows--in the realm of spirit.)

      In a different way,  it reminded me of what I felt when I was recently "deadheading" last year's old dead remains from a flowering shrub.   I figured that since they were all done I could easily remove them, which I did.   Until I removed the dead flowers,  I had not been aware of all the buds bursting out of the stems, anxiously waiting to become this year's blooms! 

    The message and indeed the lesson for me in this is that in order to experience the new and lovely one has to let go of what is old and worn and no longer offering anything of beauty or use.

   This would also apply to businesses, governments, churches, schools, organizations, systems, computers and the like.

                                             For such is the nature of life on Earth.

    

    

Mute the Dogs!

       A few months ago, we got new neighbors.  Very quickly they built a tall wooden fence to provide an enclosed area for their three dogs.  It is not a very large area.   The dogs bark endlessly at all hours of the day and night.  They are just across our row of trees, next door.  The barking drives me crazy!

       As a retiree who spends a lot of time at home,  I am actually accustomed to quiet.  I do not turn the television on during the day.  I do not listen to the radio.  I simply work in a comfortable silence!  Or at least, I used to!

         This morning I decided that I had to do something!  The barking sound is so annoying.  I am not even sure they take the dogs inside during the cold winter nights.

         I remembered that our cable options include some music stations.   I found the right numbers to plug into the remote.  There are about 50 stations.   I have never really identified a genre of music that I would consider "my kind of music",   so I started exploring.  The first thing that came up was Classical (as in famous composers).  Definitely not for me.   I lasted about thirty seconds before I figured that out!

    Then there was pop,  rap,  jazz, and finally, then I found MY sound---classical country,  much to my surprise!   It is calm and comforting!   They are mostly old songs from the past, and somewhat familiar!  I should have know that I am a country girl!  (Because I am so NOT a city girl!)

    The challenge of the moment is,  I am not sure exactly what channel it is on! Don't know if I can easily find it again.   The number doesn't display anywhere are over 50 of them to go through!

                                                                                    

    

Goal Weight

     I didn't start out with this goal weight.   It evolved over time.  At first,  my goal was to lose the 10 pounds that I gained while baking during the spring 2020 covid lockdown.   I did manage to achieve that within a few months.

    I have had a lifetime of being overweight, starting probably when I was five or six.  I'm not sure that in 2020, after losing those first 10 pounds ,  that I expected much more than that initial loss.   But I discovered along the way, when Covid persisted, that it was a huge advantage not to "have to" go to any social events that required eating,  nor was going to restaurants much of a possibility for quite a while.

    So I too persisted in changing my eating to more healthy options while I continued to try to drop some more pounds.   It is an extremely slow process, being well over 70.   Then my goal became simply:   Before I leave this earth,  I want to feel comfortable in my body!!  

    That goal has been accomplished!  I wear the size clothes I never expected to wear again.  I can cross my legs with ease.   I am in no way skinny or thin,  but I no longer hate how I look when I see my reflection in a mirror.  So there have already been some major changes that are quite wonderful to experience!

    Since I changed to eating primarily fruits and vegetables, and since I watched a yucky documentary on the meat industry,  I thought it would not be a big leap for me to go vegetarian.  Not vegan, just vegetarian.   That was six months ago.  I do provide moderate sized meat servings for my husband,  but I stick with my vegetables, and love the challenges that brings.  I have to constantly add to my vegetable recipe repertoire so that I am not bored.   I am very fortunate that grocery shopping and cooking are among my favorite activities.  It also helps that I am retired!

    I did eventually set a goal weight, which would amount to a loss of forty pounds over almost two years.  I am four pounds away from that goal (and four months shy of two years).  I do hope, and am confident that I will achieve it eventually, although it is quite likely to take another six to eight months.  I have discovered that the more one cuts back on their food intake for weight loss,  the more one has to keep cutting back in order to maintain it!

    But even if I never do lose those last four pounds,  I have already changed my health dramatically,  changed my size considerably,  renewed my wardrobe,  changed my attitude toward my body,  found comfort in and appreciation for the body I do have.   All of those are changes that are just as valuable as any specific number on the scale.

  Besides, a number on a scale is a very fluid thing,  always subject to change! 

  Having more confidence,  liking myself more,  being very healthy,  feeling comfortable-- those are things that have already made my life so much better!

    I guess you could say this is a positive side-effect of the otherwise terrible miseries of a Pandemic!