Seven Days

My 'dream life' would certainly involve playing tennis every day during the summer months.  I don't know that I ever really expected that to happen.   But it has!  For the past seven days,  I've played tennis every day!  It has involved different opponents, and the weather conditions were also very different on each occasion as well.  Each outing was from one hour to one and a half hour.

Four out of seven of the days were with Gerry, playing singles. One day it was so hot and humid we played in the morning, rather than the heat of the afternoon, which is when we usually play.  One afternoon it was drizzling rain, though never really pouring.  Another day was cloudy and the other downright cold.  On Thursday, we played with Seth and Judy and the conditions included perhaps 20 mph winds, which made it extremely challenging, unpredictable, humorous and exhausting.  On Friday,  I played doubles with the women. V&M [daughter and son-in-law] were here for the weekend, briefly, to attend a friend's wedding. We played with them yesterday (Sunday)!  Though they are young and in their twenties, we held our own .

I get stiff and achy and sore afterward.  But that's just part of getting older.  I have a couple of old injuries that   bother me occasionally,  but the amazing thing to me is,  I can do it!  It makes me feel capable and strong to be able to play competitive tennis for an hour and a half a day!  Though I might have put that on my 'dream list',  I never really expected that to become a reality!

 I am really proud of myself.

SBNR

I was fascinated by an article in today's paper, written by the Dean of the Chapel at a nearby university.  She described a movement she referred to as SBNR, which stands for 'spiritual but not religious', and went on to say that the SBNR movement is the largest growing segment of the population today, with an increasing number of people who describe themselves that way.  These are, of course, those who are suspicious of  'organized religion' in all its forms.  There was surely a time when I would have described myself that way as well.

But I have been enlightened, at least somewhat, by life, experience, faith, and wisdom.  You see, ever since the first altar was built, or the ten commandment tablets were placed in the ark of the covenant to be preserved,  matters of belief, faith, religion have been 'made mainfest', or taken on some earthly or temporal or structural form.  Even God 'himself' took on flesh and became incarnate. (*Christian understanding)   I think it is virtually impossible to separate faith matters into any hard and fast categories of the spiritual, the religious, the physical.

In the SBNR lingo, 'religious' is probably intended to mean 'of the institutional church'.  Being spiritual, then would be about interest in the sacred,  having questions about the meaning of life,  knowing one's own soul, etc. (without any of that being formalized).  It is an interesting distinction and also dilemma.  Religions all were 'built'/ 'born' out of spiritual urges and inclinations and experiences,  whether that is Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism or other.  Then, over time, those with a particular spiritual inclination developed traditions, beliefs, a unique language and culture.

Perhaps it is simply human nature that any spiritual leaning will mature and eventually become institutionalized. I think of those who want to simply be spiritual and pray and meditate all the time.  Even the pious require an institutional structure to provide convents, and monasteries for spiritual practices.

Maybe the best way to think about spirituality is:   living as much as possible in the grace of God.   Still, our humanity keeps that from being a permanent state.  Instead we build structures and programs, and give birth to religions.  But unlike the SBNR folks, I'm not sure I think that is all bad, as long as the natural processes of death and resurrection also apply to churches.

Temperature

This picture shows today's temperature at the peak of perfection!   It is exactly the same temperature inside and outside, as shown on this indoor/outdoor thermometer.  In addition, there is a slight breeze, and a clear, sunny and blue sky.  One could not ask for a more lovely day.

My life in temperature, however, is not always so rosey. Gerry and I have very different internal thermometers.   He is cold blooded.  I am hot blooded. In the winter, when it is cold out, he definitely wants to maintain the inside temperature at a steady 70 degrees.  When it goes below, to 68, or so, he is more than willing to turn up the heat.   On the other hand, in the summer, when it is hot and we are using the air conditioner,  he is much less willing to be satisfied with a 70 degree inside temperature.  As soon as it reaches 70 degrees, he turns it up to 75.  Now why is that?  Isn't 70 degrees inside the same in the summer as in the winter?  Apparently not, and I just don't get that!

For the sake of our marriage, I suggested that we not get a programmable thermostat, because after all,  at what and whose temp what would we program it ?   Instead, we keep our manual thermostat, so that both of us can constantly turn it up or down behind the other's back, hoping that will go unnoticed for a while, to reach our own comfort level.  That makes for a more equal marriage, where no one person has all the control.
After all,  I don't know how to program a thermostat!

Today's Speaker

 Today the Literary Ladies enjoyed an end-of the year lunch at a beautiful restaurant overlooking the lake.  We also had a guest speaker, a young woman from China.   It was a very fascinating talk, disturbing, and heartbreaking.  She spoke about her own personal experiences growing up in China, and in her family.  Let’s call her Lin-Lin. 

Lin Lin is an accomplished scholar, having earned a Bachelor’s Degree in China, two Masters degrees in the U.S., a  PhD from Harvard, plus having recently published a book.  Ironically, she has her degrees in Women’s Studies, Cultural Studies, and is highly educated in all gender related issues.  And yet, she has not been able to “liberate herself” from the strong indoctrination and brainwashing of her culture, mostly from her mother.  Hers was (perhaps is) a patriarchal culture, teaching that girls are always inferior. She grew up sensing that her mother had shame for giving birth to two daughters.   Lin Lin decided that she would bring honor to her parents by excelling academically, which she did to the highest level possible.  They are proud of her academic achievements, but ashamed because she does not have a man to buy her a house.  (It is meaningless to her mother that she is able to buy the house for herself!).  Lin Lin is not married, and her mother is ashamed of her for that.

It was fascinating to hear her describe her journey as one always filled with the tension and conflict between the core beliefs taught by her parents, and the new knowledge she has acquired from her extensive education. There are surely some pleasures from her many accomplishments, and yet, no matter what she does, she can never seem to get her parents’ approval.  When Lin Lin became a tenured faculty member, she brought her parents here to live with her.    

I listened with sadness and with amazement.  No matter who we might be, or how old, or from what country, with what education,  perhaps many women share a common challenge.  For better, or for worse, we simply cannot entirely erase the tapes of our mothers’ voices from our heads!

For Lin Lin,  there is no relief in sight!   Her mother lives with her!