Failure

There was a human interest piece at the end of  the 6:30 news that totally rocks my world.  Diane Sawyer was interviewing Sara Blakely,  the inventor of Spanx, who is now a very successful billionaire entrepreneur.

Blakely told how her father would ask his children at the dinner table each night:  "What did you fail at today?"  One might report trying out for a sport and being terrible at it.  And their father would give them a big high five. This astonishes me, and is such a marvelous twist, such a healthy attitude, such a revolutionary approach;  I wish I had thought of that!

Rather than always striving for success,  Blakely's method of operation is to look for the gift in failure.  She says that every failure has a gift.

Failure is not something I was ever comfortable with.  Oh,  I certainly had my share of encounters with failure,  and those really shaped me, to make sure I did not repeat the mistakes.   Failure was more likely to make me feel shame or embarrassment.

I will say that fear of failure was never something that kept me from taking risks, trying something new or different, stepping up, stepping out.  But the experience of failure was always a very excruciatingly painful.


Oh, how I wish I had learned early on that in fact,  failure is really to be celebrated and embraced.

Of course, it is never too late to learn something life-changing.   Next time I fail,  I'll be much less likely to feel humiliated.   I'll just high five myself and receive the gift!

Mentoring

I got a call out of the blue recently, asking if I would act as a Mentor for a woman who is a candidate for the ministry.   Actually,  I have been out of that loop for quite a while.  I was surprised to be asked.   I have to jog my memory to remember what I once knew,  and use my brains cells to learn a totally new process.  Everything has changed since those days when I served on the Board of Ordained Ministry.   What was once four separate Conferences have merged into one larger one.  New process, new people, new rules.

What used to be done with an actual paper manual, is now all done all on-line.  So I am trying to navigate the web and follow sometimes confusing messages.   But I think I will probably figure it out.

I have now met with my mentee,  "Cathy".  It will be fun and interesting walking with her through the process.  She reminds me of what it was like for me at the beginning.  The excitement, the thrill,  the humility,  the insecurities, the surprise,  the uncertainties, etc.   All that and more.   She is planning to be a Local Pastor, and not go the seminary route.  [being a Local Pastor requires completing the Course of Study ].

 For a married woman,  there are always multiple challenges to consider---the itineracy, the cost, the demands.  My husband was a tenured professor, not really portable;  I had a small child and multiple teenagers. We owned a home.  At that time, I was not inclined toward the itineracy* ,  since I lived it as a preacher's daughter.    [*itineracy means you go where you are sent]

But in the end, it was not about what I wanted,  but what God had in mind.  Life circumstances changed;  illness happened,  children grew,  seminary was a slow process while serving as a student pastor, paid for a little at a time.   It all unfolded in ways I would never ever have imagined.  

And to be perfectly honest,  I guess it still is!   I would not want it any other way!

Getting Lost

Gerry's internal directional compass, ordinarily superb, seems to malfunction completely whenever we are on an island.  (Long Island,  Martha's Vineyard,  Hilton Head Island).   When we first arrived on Hilton Head, we had a very hard time finding our resort!   Even Mapquest malfunctioned also!  The directions I had printed off were completely bogus.  When we got out the GPS,  we did find our destination.  We had not really needed it before, as the entire trip was made on just a couple of highways.  I also find the voice of our Tom Tom totally annoying  (unless we are really really lost!)

When I look at the picture below,  I recall exactly why it is that everything is hard to find.

When you are driving around the main roads, everything looks the same.   There was nothing on that island until the 1950's, so everything is relatively new.  The layout is clearly planned to blend in completely with the surrounding environment.   Most, (or all) buildings tend to be the color of sand,  and the roofs tend to be the green pictured above.  Wherever there are buildings, there is a lush growth of trees and other vegetation.

The signs are all at ground level.  A low sand-colored sign might be in front of a driveway saying "Port Royal Village", and you think it is a private entrance to a residence or resort, when in fact, it is a regular road leading to a variety of different kinds of establishments.   After following GPS directions to our resort, down winding roads,  it took us a while to figure out how to get back to a highway!   Even I will admit that it was very confusing.

I learned something about our relationship.  Since Gerry has little experience following my internal compass,  (even when I clearly know the way)  he was unable to listen,  even when he was lost!     I tried to laugh and keep my sense of humor about that.

It might have been better to just insist on driving myself!

I did exactly that for the last three hours driving home.   It was raining, sleeting, snowing, and very very slippery.  The closer we got to home, the more cars we saw off the road.  We got home safely.   Thank the Lord!

St. Andrews By The Sea

We last visited Hilton Head in 1994, eighteen years ago.  At that time, we attended the St. Andrews By the Sea United Methodist Church.   We returned to worship there last Sunday.

It is such an architecturally lovely building, located in a beautiful setting.  But aside from those external factors, the worship experience itself was uplifting, refreshing,  and restored my faith in United Methodist Churches.

The main reason why I say that is that the church was full of people, on a non-holiday February Sunday. The sanctuary has probably a 300 to 400 capacity.  Churches in the part of the country we live in are rarely full,  with the exception of perhaps on Easter and Christmas.

I'd have to say that as a person-in-the-pew,  this may well be my favorite 'experience of church' in many years.   The pastor gave an excellent sermon and a good children's message.  It was Communion Sunday, and the serving of Communion was done efficiently.  Everyone knew their parts throughout the service, including the greeters, the ushers and the acolytes,  and did them well.  

I don't expect we will ever return to the island,  but if for any reason we did,  this is a church I would definitely want to attend again.

We returned on a rainy day to take these pictures.

One observation I would make is the congregation was 99% white.   Certainly, there are many non-white workers on the island, though I do not know where they actually live.

The church we attend with our youngest daughter on Long Island where she lives is perhaps the most ethnically diverse United Methodist Church I have ever experienced, much to its credit.

I thought of her on Sunday.  She plays the bells at her church.  The bell choir was playing at St. Andrews By the Sea.