Next Wedding Coming Up

We have a wedding for Yo [youngest offspring] coming up in a couple of weeks.   Today I visited my oldest daughter who showed me the things she has at her house, things made for the wedding, at Yo's request, which have to be transported.   One is quite large.   This makes me wonder about all the things which reside at our various houses which will need to be transported to the wedding site.

For example, Cilla is the cake maker,  and it is a large cake, big enough for almost 200 people  She said she would have to borrow Bren's car to transport the cake,  but when I saw today what Bren had to transport, that made me wonder about cars and such.

We have many boxes of things here at our home, and they have not yet even all arrived.  The favors have been ordered to be shipped here.  I'm trying to visualize packing all this in one car, along with two of us, arriving in our tux and fancy gown, to unload many supplies, and then have our formal photographs taken before the wedding.  Maybe we should not put on our fancy clothes until the last minute.

Bren and I were talking about all this today, and how sad it is really, to put thousands of hours into planning,  many more thousands of thoughts and details of effort, (not even to mention dollars) for something that will probably last no more than five hours, tops.  Yo has put so much thought and effort into everything, which will all be thematically related.  It will certainly be unique.

What I hope most of all is that it will be fun for the bride and groom, and memorable.  I hope there will be no stress over the unimportant things.   I hope that when all is said and done,  they will feel like all the effort was worth while, and have many wonderful memories.

After the ceremony, when my part is done, I think I am going to have several glasses of wine!

An Amazing Funeral

Yesterday, I attended an amazing funeral for an incredible man.  The sanctuary was completely filled, which would be at least two hundred and fifty people. There were three different speakers. One was a friend from Bill's (the deceased) work in the theater.  His theater contributions provide a very impressive legacy,  having impacted countless lives!  He was a high school teacher and drama director, as well as a director at many plays in the community.  Bill had asked this friend to speak at his memorial service twenty seven years earlier  (that's advance planning!). Another speaker was a former pastor (and dear friend of Bill's)  who spoke about Bill as a man of faith, and his countless contributions to the life of the church.  The third speaker was the current pastor. Between the three of them,  he was given a good and proper celebration.

The service lasted for an hour and a half, but was certainly very memorable.  Bill received a standing ovation, twice. I'm sure he was there listening, and took one last bow,  very pleased, before final departure.

I had a rather odd thing happen to me.  I sat on the far side, in order not to take up primary (good visibility) seating for the guests (as I am staff).  There was a moment in time when I was "bathed in the light".   It was the time of day, the angle of the sun, the particular window and where I sat. The sunshine poured through the window and encircled me,  just me, in this bright glow. The golden light did not fall on the person to my left, nor the one in front of me.  I looked around that church at every location, and at no other place was the sun shining in like that.  It was surely just a coincidence, and there is no reason for me to take it as some personal affirmation or blessing.  Even though my rational mind knew that,  it made me feel pretty special, to tell you the truth!  To use a theater metaphor--the spotlight shone brightly on me.

My acquaintance and relationship with Bill has been brief, compared to the hundreds of others who have known him for a long long time.  There's no reason why I deserved any special light.  But I could fantasize that  Bill gave me just a moment of his time, in recognition for the pastoral care I had extended to him and to his wife Ruth these past few months.  I do know that Bill was especially fond of me.  His former pastor and his lovely wife both told me that.

I'm so glad I happened to be there at that church in time to know this unique and special man!

At the Cleaners

A few days ago I went to the cleaners. It was a very warm day and the door to the shop was propped open. When I entered, I noticed to my right two birds fluttering on the inside of the windows, sitting on the ledge. One bird friend was outside the window. None of them seemed to know what to do about their dilemma. The two inside birds flew into the windows a couple of times and then seemed dazed and confused.

The owner went over to try to shoo them to the door, but of course, they only flew to the opposite glass window and accompanying ledge. They clearly had no concept of door. I decided to see if I could help. The birds were quite small, though not necessarily young. I reached out with my two hands and formed a kind of cage around one of the birds, not squeezing or grasping, just providing a transport. It fluttered, and when I got to the door, I opened my hands the the bird flew swiftly away. I then went back and captured the second bird in the same way, and off it flew.

I felt very good about being able to help those two small birds. Hopefully, if I am ever stuck and disoriented, hopefully some kind creature will come along and help me out.

Out of Left Field

I work very hard at trying to live my life out of a place of  mature self-awareness.  At one end of the spectrum is the self-centered ego;  at the other end,  the spiritually centered soul.   The goal is to keep the ego in its place,  not in the driver's seat.  I do pretty well most of the time.  Recently I've done a lot of reading, from which I have had major epiphanies.

So, when an 'attack of ego' struck out of left field this week,  it surprised me so much.   I could recognize that my feelings did not come from my higher self.  They were not rational.  But I was absolutely helpless to keep myself from feeling them. Those feelings made me very sad, even though they had no real basis for concern.

 I could tell instantly that my "ego dangers" are not from arrogance or being self-centered, but from a deep seated insecurity.  Probably I will never be able to rid myself entirely of that particular demon. Correction needed here:  being insecure IS self-centered!

Feelings are neither good nor bad.  They just are. They move across the screen of consciousness. You feel them and move on.  Maybe I just needed to feel sad.

When it comes to one's personal development,  there is always, always, so much work still to be done!